End of Summah Showcase
Am I more than you bargained for yet?
Witches, evil queens, good wives + lion cubs,
We’ve been on quite the journey together. Let’s time travel for a moment, back to three months ago. I was at the peak of what I now call my public delusion era.
The whole spring was unhinged, and I’ll be the first to admit I pulled you through it in real time before I knew where I was leading. Yet even in the chaos, I carried long-term vision. I made a bet on myself, because every time I’ve set my mind to something, it has come to pass. Maybe not in the exact way I imagined, but always in a way that feels right.
In the midst of my unraveling, I came to a deeper truth: everyone deserves to be met in their darkest moments with kindness and empathy. I’ve always offered that to others, but it hasn’t often come back my way. So, this year, I learned how to unapologetically choose myself, even while the world seemed intent on tearing me apart.
It was devastating to watch people turn away the moment I chose my fullness and stopped performing for the comfort of others. I know I made mistakes along the way, but each choice came from a need to protect myself and to honor my vision for a new life.
Though she was messy and manic, I’m grateful to the warrior within who had the strength to break the toxic cycles I was born into. She created space for my inner child to finally feel loved and accepted, even when the world kept insisting that I was bad and too much.
As my boy Dr. Carl Jung would put it, both of these archetypes, the warrior and the child, are no longer trapped in survival mode. Together, they get to step into the life I’ve always deserved — one built on a foundation of compassion, reciprocity, and unconditional love.
As we close out this season, I want to end on the joy that lived inside all of that pain, because it’s what carried me through to the other side.
You likely don’t remember, but over Memorial Day weekend I boldly declared I wanted to “Make Delusions Fun Again,” and that’s exactly what I did. I spoke my dreams out loud, trusted they would somehow land in reality, and gave myself permission to be a little outrageous.
All of it was in hopes that, by the end of summer, I could say this with conviction: sometimes you really do have to lose your mind to find it. And when paired with action, having a delusion is simply another word for vision setting.
So, without further ado, let’s take a look at how my spring delusions came to life.
Welcome to the End of Summah Showcase!
The season finale of a weekly storytelling series about rewriting our lives through pattern recognition and mythmaking. If you’re new, start with the syllabus then choose your own adventure.
I’m the Mahvelous Ms. B — former teacher, current human. I’ll be your tour guide this season as we journey through the deep end together.
The final episode is: Be the Vibe. Let’s dive in. ⬇️⬇️⬇️
3️⃣Slow It Down
The vision: I choose u+(m)e, religiously. Come home when you’re ready.
I wasn’t always a Swiftie, but I certainly became one this year. I’ve planted many easter eggs nodding to her work throughout all of my writing, and this delusion was no different.
It all started with a tiny seed on January 5th in an essay I titled Defying Gravity (Taylor’s Version). It was the moment I chose to wander down the road less traveled and embark on a mission to create the feeling of home inside myself.
By March, I created the feeling, and once I did it, it was way too cool to gatekeep. Unfortunately, it’s a really complex concept and language can’t quite capture it, so I started with u+(m)e —
✨ The u is for unlimited. A nod to Wicked: The Musical and the limitless possibilities that come when you dare to play the witch for a while and dream bigger than reality.
♾️ The e is evermore. A nod to Taylor Swift’s song Evermore featuring Bon Iver. It captures the power of falling into delusion to get you through your darkest hour when nothing else can.
💿 The (m) is for mixtape and myth. The masterpiece that emerges when you believe in yourself and your inner world, trusting that what you’re seeking will find you if you stand strong in your truth and power.
2️⃣Summah Garden
The vision: Patience + Things Will Get Better x Lady by the Sea.
Mixtapes and myths can only carry you so far. My second delusion grew out of the time I spent wandering a rose garden in my mind, where patience and blind faith were the only way forward. Day by day, I learned how to plant seeds for the future while keeping both feet steady on the ground, nurturing a vision I could one day bring into the world we share.
Travis Kelce did a huge solid for dreamer girls everywhere last week by bringing Taylor’s myths to life in the most literal way. And while my love story hasn’t bloomed just yet, my Summah Garden gave me something just as important: the answer to the Troy Bolton dilemma.
Do you keep your head in the game or your heart in the song? For so long, I thought I had to choose — stability or passion, advocacy or art, building a future or living a dream. But this summer showed me the answer was never either/or. It’s learning how to hold both.
Taylor’s engagement is proof that she found her way out of the rose garden. In my world, this newsletter paired with my first major consulting contract is proof that I’m finding my way out of it, too.
As I wrote back on December 21 in an essay titled Tired (Daisy’s Version), things can be two things.
1️⃣East Coast Summahs
The vision: She released the doves + she surrendered love. Now she gives them a standup routine on the Cape while dancing like Uma Thurman. It ends with a Sk8er Boi on stage.
I’m beginning to understand that when you allow one door to open, ten more usually follow. By giving myself permission to create consistently and sharing that work on a public platform that held me accountable, I found both the structure and the spark I needed to dream bigger than I had in years. I had no idea how I was going to pull off getting on a stage by the end of summer, but against all odds, I forking did it!
Last week, I performed in my very first improv show. It was terrifying, but fear has never stopped me. And the wildest part? The entire audience clapped for two of my jokes, and I wasn’t expecting it at all. That applause made the risks I’ve been taking, the chaos I’ve been moving through, and the visions I’ve been chasing all worth it. The real win, though, isn’t just that I got laughs. It’s that I’ve begun to alchemize my old trauma responses into something lighter, funnier, and more joyful.
For so long, I felt like a wrecking ball moving through my own life, but this summer I learned how to turn that same energy into art, play, and performance.
👑End of an Era, Start of an Age
As much as I’ve both loved and hated pouring my heart and soul into this newsletter every week for the last nine months, it’s time for me to fully commit to the new life I dreamed up.
As Taylor Swift once said, “I think it’s important that you know that I’ll never change. But I’ll never stay the same either.”
Here’s what’s next:
🤫 Secrets with Myself September
I’m going fully offline for the month of September. If you’re on the Cape, my next show is on 9/6 — tickets here.
🚋 On the Go Autumn
I’ll be kicking off my new nomadic lifestyle with a month in NYC starting on 10/10 — let’s hang out!
🧶 Weaving for the Winter
I’ll be back in your inbox with the next season of whatever this thing is on 11/22 — miss you already!!
For the final time, take what resonates and leave the rest. This was something unpredictable, but in the end, it was right. I hope you had the time of your life! 🎶
Until we meet again,
<3 The Mahvelous Ms. B
PS. Here’s the final mixtape of the season. It’s a joy ride!
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